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If Cinderella had gone back for her shoe, she’d never have become a Princess!

For all of us there are just some things we will never have an interest in, and no matter how much development we undertake (and it would take a lot!) we're probably never going to master them. For me, this was creating my own website when I first started my consultancy business over 8 years ago. It was something that wasn’t a natural driver for me; I had no interest in it, and therefore it was the thing I kept putting to the bottom of the pile! It took me 5 years to get someone else to design my website for me (or effectively to play to someone else’s natural strengths - read more about this in my recent "Working Harder, Not Smarter!" article.
 
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Put another way, it was like flogging a dead horse; or in Odin Development Compass terminology this was a “resistant limitation” for me, and something I probably shouldn’t develop.So, I haven’t!

What about the competencies that, over the course of your career, you've learned and maybe even become very good at, however in pressurised or stressful situations they take a lot more of your energy to be as effective? Or you become frustrated, or risk demonstrating the distorted/less positive behaviours you might normally associate with that particular competency or skill? These “fragile strengths” don’t come naturally to you, however you've learned to be good at them and put strategies in place for coping with situations relating to them.

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to just say “this is me”? I've said it many times before, and often say it to my husband when I may be displaying some of those distorted behaviours.

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What is important is understanding exactly what may become a stressful situation for you, particularly at work. Specifically:

 - Do you know what these are?
 - Would someone who didn’t know you notice a difference in your behaviour?
 - Do you notice it yourself?
 - Are you aware of how you feel, and the impact this has on you?
 - Do you notice any physiological changes in yourself?

To be the "best you”, it's also important to have (or increase your levels of) self-awareness. Only with this awareness can you choose to do things differently and adapt. There may be things that others are aware of, yet for you this is still a “blind-spot”. Have you ever heard of Johari’s Window? If not, look it up!

As an Insights Licensed Practitioner I talk about increasing self-awareness in order to have a greater awareness of others, and as a result be able to adapt and connect more effectively with those people.

To become your "best you”, be it like a princess, prince or a super hero, you must actively think about what you know about yourself. Use this knowledge to drive yourself forward. You can’t change what has already happened but you can do things differently in the future, therefore:

Realise your natural strengths;

Aspire to delegate what doesn’t come naturally to you; and

Do more of what you love!

Let me know if this makes a difference to you.

Blog Posts

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    What is mindfulness? According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness is "paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non judgementally”.
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    As a leader or manager, you must create trust with each member of your team in order that you can have open conversations on any subject, and at the same time be true to your self!
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    For all of us there are just some things we will never have an interest in, and no matter how much development we undertake (and it would take a lot!) we're probably never going to master them.
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    To perform at your best, you need to be effective (doing the right things) and efficient (doing things right).
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    Always “notice” what is around you; have the self-awareness to realise that even when you think you have no impact on others, you can still do so.