Looking after yourself is as easy as 1, 2, 3!
Our motives affect the way we make sense of and respond to the world around us, both at a conscious and unconscious level, and right now that world is like nothing we've seen or experienced before! We've seen people’s best behaviour and all the great ways people have come together during this pandemic, and also some of people’s worst traits.
Our values act as a lens – they colour what we find important and motivational, and determine which messages we find inspiring or distasteful. Being aware of our values offers clues as to why we behave and react the way we do in certain situations. Our primal instinct is to defend those values at all costs, and being unaware of such reactions can lead to disruption both in ourselves and those around us.
So, what are your values? I thought I’d share an exercise with you which hopefully you will find useful:
- Consider a recent situation that provoked a strong emotional response within you.
- Write down the situation and outcome, and also how you felt.
- If there was another person involved in the situation, can you make a guess at what their values were and how they felt?
- Which of your values were contradicted?
- What makes these values important to you?
Knowing your values and how you respond to them is the first part to becoming emotionally agile - its about recognising and paying direct attention to your triggers and responses.
Given the current circumstances we all find ourselves in, we may have seen these triggers and responses surface more frequently of late. Understanding the reason we react the way we do allows us to catch the emotional response, watch it arrive and find a way to manage it appropriately.
Now that we understand our personal values better and what drives and motivates us, let’s consider what is at play when we're faced with change. The ABC process takes place:
A - Activating - being in a changing situation;
B - Beliefs about the event - our interpretation of why it is happening, and our speculations;
C - Consequences of our beliefs - our feelings, thoughts, behaviours caused by our underlying beliefs.
Realise if you're a manager or leader that values are especially important in organisations, as they often set the standard for internal communication and have a great impact on company culture;
Aspire to understand that values are key to enabling you to connect with individual employees in ways that are likely to inspire commitment, compel them to put forth discretionary effort, and provide them with a deeper sense of meaning, and;
Do pay attention to your own values and those of the people around you.
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